Understanding and connecting with your team members can be challenging. Especially in a remote work environment.
For me, a personal manual is an invaluable tool to bridge this gap.
Let’s start by seeing your personal manual as an asynchronous conversation starter. You explain why you do what you do. And extend the open invitation to find common ground and talk about personal stuff. See it as a shortcut when you meet new colleagues: less small talk to try to discover someone’s challenges and communication preferences. You immediately collaborate on a deeper level.
That’s if you’re willing to take on this challenge of respecting what’s in the personal manuals of your colleagues. Because let’s be honest: isn’t a harmonious working relationship something we all aim for?
You want to feel validated and appreciated for who you really are. And for your unique contributions to the team. When the entire team knows everyone’s preferences and working styles, it becomes so much easier to allocate tasks that play to each person’s strengths. If done properly those personal manuals contribute to a psychologically safer working environment, leading to a more positive and productive team and higher job satisfaction. And in this evolving landscape of remote work, effective and positive team dynamics are more crucial than ever.
Understanding Personal Manuals
A personal manual is a self-authored guide where team members outline their work preferences, communication styles, strengths and personal stuff they want to share. Think of a ‘user's guide to working with me’.
These are the main sections in the version I drafted for my team:
- Your role at work. What’s your job?
- Preferred working hours.
- Communication preferences.
- Preferences about meetings and briefings.
- Things you’re good at.
Not necessarily job related. - Things you’re bad at.
- Preferred ways of receiving feedback and appraisal.
- Type of work I like to take out of your hands. And the type of work you can take out of my hands.
- Basically your strengths and weaknesses again but in a different format.
- Your decision-making processes
- How you handle stressful situations
- Personal stuff: hobby’s, family, quirks, etc.
- And some optional questions to make this manual really personal: things that worry you, how you handle conflict, what excites you, your career goal, personal values, favorite dish, etc.
In a Remote Context
It often feels like remote work lacks the spontaneous interactions that occur in a physical office. It may feel like it’s harder to understand how colleagues prefer to communicate and collaborate. Personal manuals help bridge this gap.
Use your personal manual as a conversation starter to find common ground and shared passions. As an icebreaker. You initiate conversations in a structured way. Where you skip the small talk and immediately reveal mutual interests and hobbies. Even in a virtual setting, this helps build stronger relationships. And perhaps even friendships stronger than working hours.
By openly discussing the content of personal manuals you gain insights into your colleagues’ unique perspectives, preferences, and values. So, take the time to read your colleague’s personal manual. Try to understand what matters. Show genuine interest and be empathetic. Acknowledging these differences is the basis for respectful work relationships.
And if you expect your colleague to be honest in their personal manuals, return the favor. Take the time to really write down what you need from your colleagues to be your best version possible. This transparency only works in your favor. The entire team establishes a more supportive and efficient working relationship.
So, by taking the time to write and read personal manuals, you commit to a long-term working relationship. You express your willingness to contribute to the success of the team and every individual team member. You actively participate in a more collaborative and positive work environment. Where everyone feels valued and invited to perform at their best.
To be More Inclusive
Remote workers tend to come from more diverse backgrounds compared to those in traditional office settings. Remote work offers certain groups in our population opportunities they’d miss in a more traditional working context.
So understanding these different backgrounds and challenges from the start, sets the scene for a more diverse and inclusive way of thinking. Your blind spots are challenged in a non-intrusive way.
To be clear, diversity and inclusion are not the primary goals here. They are the natural outcomes of your transparent way of communicating.
The consequences of inviting every team member to share their unique preferences and needs, goes further than only psychological safety and a fun working environment. You explicitly say that every voice matters. You affirm that each person’s input is valuable. And this way of thinking will find its way in projects as well: people will use this confidence and safety to speak up. The team will come up with different approaches to tackle a problem. Making discussions and solutions richer in every way possible.
If managers and colleagues tailor their interactions to ensure that everyone feels valued, respected and included, you might find the right tone of voice to unlock a level of creativity in your colleagues that was well hidden because the one-size-fits-all communication style just didn’t inspire them.
Imagine as a single parent that you can express the importance of picking up your kids from school. Just once, in your personal manual. And you know that the team respects those boundaries. What will be the impact on your productivity and sense of belonging?
Imagine being a neurodivergent person. Wondering if you share your diagnosis at work. Because you have some red flags and allergies you want to talk about. But how will people react? If you have the freedom to do some things slightly different, what different perspectives will you bring to the table?
As an organization, it’s your job to take away this stress by actively promoting that culture of diversity, respect and belonging. Where there’s room for the diverse needs of a remote team. A personal manual can be a first step towards such a company culture. And your team will return the favor: that diversity and flexibility will find its way to improve projects.
How to Effectively Use Personal Manuals in a Remote Team
If you’re still reading at this point, chances are high that you’ll start writing your personal manual. Or at least search for some allies in your team to try this out. But how do you really start with this?
Use these 7 best practices as a guide to just go for it:
1. Introduction
Pitch the idea of creating our own personal manuals during a team meeting. And ask for feedback. If not everyone’s on board, you can ask if it’s ‘safe enough to try’. Without buy-in from the team, don’t start.
2. Sharing
New team members get access to the personal manuals of the team on their first day. I believe this helps them to quickly integrate into the team and team culture. Or at least to lower the barriers to start a conversation. The fact that we have these personal manuals is often discussed during their job interviews.
During our first team meeting with a new colleague we always go through our personal manuals. We highlight the stuff that is important to us. And answer questions from the newbie.
3. Central repository
We store our personal manuals in a shared Dropbox folder. And I refer to this folder on our intranet.
4. Regular updates and continuous improvement
People change. So your personal manual can also change. Encourage your team to regularly update the manuals as their preferences and roles evolve.
And this is the hardest part. I know.
5. Encouragement
Personal manuals are conversation starters. Sometimes people need some encouragement to start talking. You can tackle this in several ways:
6. Talk about your personal manual whenever you feel it’s natural to refer to this document.
7. Actively ask people about their manual. And what works best for them.
Pitfalls
Personal manuals are not a quick fix. Evaluate if your organization is ready before you introduce this way of working. Because:
- Personal manuals don’t replace talking to each other.
- We expect a level of psychological safety and trust to write about your personal preferences and working style.
- Everyone respects what’s written in someone's manual. There are no wrongs or rights here.
And with the personal manuals, the work just begins. You have to be willing to get to know your colleague and team on another level. If you don’t care about your coworkers, don’t start with personal manuals.
Conclusion
Personal manuals are a powerful tool for building effective and stronger remote teams. They provide a structured way to understand each team member's unique working style, preferences, and needs.
If used well and if your team is ready, it helps you establish psychological safety. Where you express that nothing’s off the table. And where everyone feels validated and accepted.
Questions about personal manuals? Want to read mine? Curious about how I use personal manuals? Reach out to me on LinkedIn.
Disclaimer: Personal manuals aren’t mine to claim. I got inspired by Lisette Sutherland and Management 3.0. And tested out what it could mean for my and my team.